askit baskit

Clients’ Questions About Recovery

From time to time we post a few of our clients’ more interesting questions about recovery.

Why do I have to continue this detox?  I am ready to go home.

We are glad that you are feeling better, but that is because you are on powerful medication.  You need further monitoring, until you are off the meds and able to manage without them.

As far as going home is concerned, it is our hope that you will decide to go to treatment instead.  It has been our experience that clients who go back to the old people, places and things don’t do well unless they have a firm foundation of knowledge, some recovery, and are able to take full advantage of available supports. Familiar situations and faces can set off powerful cravings in people who are unprepared.

How do I deal with my baby and wife leaving me because of my addiction?

As we gain sobriety and work on a program of recovery, we learn to deal with problems like this one, and many others as well.

There are only two possible ways of handling this matter.  Either you go back out and use again, continuing the old ways of solving problems that didn’t work so well, or you get clean and sober.

Option number one will certainly be easier, but will accomplish nothing except your eventual death.  It certainly will not help you regain your family and self respect, and will simply add more pain to everyone’s lives.

On the other hand, if you get humble, follow suggestions, and do the things that you need to do for yourself, you have a chance at sobriety.  If you are able to remain sober, you will at some point at least be able to have a relationship with your child, and might actually be able to get the family back together.  Seems to us that the choice is pretty clear.

I would like to know how I get a sponsor.

We find sponsors by going to a lot of meetings, listening carefully to a lot of people, and finding out who is happy, productive, and working a good program of recovery.  Some folks choose “cool” sponsors.  The smart ones look beyond the surface and try to figure out if that person has what it takes to weather the long haul, and whether they can pass it on to others.

Our blogger Bill W. has two full posts devoted to choosing a sponsor, here and here.

How long should you be clean before you can actually go around social events with alcohol?

It seems to us that the issue isn’t so much how long as it is how well prepared we are.  We need to have enough sobriety that thoughts of drinking have pretty much disappeared, along with the nostalgia when we see a beer commercial or drive past a bar.  Beyond that, we need to consider the situation: will it be a gathering when we would have participated heartily and gotten blasted — perhaps a family party or shooting pool with our old buddies — or will it be a situation with less powerful triggers.

Finally, we need to be prepared, and we need to take someone sober with us.  Again, Bill W. has a post here that covers the matter.  Check out his archives for more answers to questions about recovery.

Have a great weekend!