Addict

What are your thoughts about addicts in AA instead of NA?

There is absolutely no reason why addicts shouldn’t attend AA meetings.  However, AA has traditions that are important to the fellowship and to many of the members.  One of those is that they generally confine their discussions to alcoholism and recovery from alcoholism.

Disregarding the fact that alcoholism is an addiction like any other, and disregarding the “a drug is a drug is a drug” of NA, keeping drugs out of the conversation is the custom at the majority of AA meetings.  Everyone attending — cross-addicted people like me, and people not addicted to alcohol at all — should follow that custom in most cases.  It’s simply good manners.

There are, however, situations where a person is in crisis, and simply needs a meeting of whatever kind.  In that case it is perfectly proper — hell, it’s a life-threatening emergency — to say whatever we need to say in order to get whatever kind of support we need.  What I would do in that situation is simple.  I’d raise my hand and say “I’m not an alcoholic, but I really, really need help because I’m about to use.  Will someone come outside and talk to me about it?”  I would probably be invited to stay and say what I need to say, and if not I’d have a horde of people headed for the door with me.

Really, the substance has nothing to do with it.  What matters are the emotions, the behaviors and the solutions.  Those are the same for all addictions, and anyone should be able to talk about them in any meeting without ever mentioning alcohol or any other drug.

Why Can’t Recovering Addicts Use In Moderation?

A client asks: If we can change our thinking in order to abstain from using alcohol and other drugs, then why can’t we change our thinking to be able to use in moderation?

Why can't addicts use in moderation?  Think about it: why couldn’t we simply use “in moderation” without all the hassle of detox, treatment, and a program of recovery? If we couldn’t do it then, why should we be able to do it now? Those are the real questions!

The key is “change our thinking.” We don’t think our way out of addiction. We make a decision to get clean and sober, and to follow the suggestions of our program of choice, in order to facilitate abstinence. The thinking and process of our programs of recovery relieve some of the emotional pressures we created with our addiction and equip us to live sober lives, but they do not “cure” the addiction.

Abstinence and the subsequent repairs that our bodies are able to effect in our brains allow our addiction(s) to enter remission. Our brains slowly deactivate the extra receptor sites that clamored for more drugs and caused our compulsion to use, and at the same time the production of chemicals normally found in the brain has to ramp back up from being suppressed by the presence of the drugs. Not until this process is complete — and it can take months — do we reach the point of feeling relatively normal, although we begin to feel better long before the job is done.

Feeling better is part of the problem, too. Because the repairs to our brains depend on abstinence, as long as there are any of a wide variety of abusable drugs in our systems, the repairs can’t take place. And because they also take time, and that means that the desire to use won’t go away entirely for quite awhile; it will come and go. We can easily decide that we’ve been clean for a while so we ought to be able to “handle it.” But if we give in and use, even a little, the repairs to our brain will slow down, prolonging the physical recovery process. It is also quite likely that the combination of reuniting with our old obsession, combined with the indisputable fact that people on drugs do stupid things, will cause us to decide more would be better. Continued use will reverse the recovery process and kick us back into full-blown addiction.

Recovery is not a matter of willpower. If it were, we would have simply ignored the compulsion and stopped. The compulsion comes from a part of the brain that isn’t affected by conscious thought. We can’t think our way into sobriety; we need abstinence too. Here at Sunrise Detox, we see a lot of folks who think that they can use in moderation.  Again, and again, and again….

Why Does Sharing Experience, Strength and Hope Work?

In order for me to recover, I have to understand at least some of the ideas flitting around in my head. Telling someone else is the best way to get the mess organized. Saying what’s happening to me in a way that others can understand — putting it into words and sentences — removes the secrecy, the mystery, and clarifies things in my own mind. My thoughts have to stop running around in circles (at least a little bit), and that allows me to see through my own mental static. But there is another powerful reason for sharing our experience, strength and hope.

No one gets into recovery by accident.  We used alcohol, other drugs or behaviors — often all three — because they made us feel better about ourselves.  After they stopped working we kept using them because we were physically and emotionally addicted, and because we didn’t know what else to do.  Eventually something happened that made us willing to take a terrified leap into the unknown, because we could no longer tolerate what was going on in our lives. I didn’t get up one morning and say to myself, “Hey, it’s nice out; I think I'll go to detox!” Neither did you.

But what got us into recovery doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we have to repair the damaged thinking that made acting out our addictions seem preferable to facing reality. As many have said, “I’m not responsible for being an addict, but I am responsible for my recovery!” Back then, we didn’t know any better; now we do.

And that’s where the experience, strength and hope of others matters. In order for us to have faith in the program, we have to see that it works. Listening to other addicts tell how it was with them, what worked for them, the results and their hopes for the future — or maybe just how scared they are — tells us that we're not alone, and gives us hope. I may not believe that I can do it, but if I see and hear that there are people who felt the way I felt, who had many of the same or similar experiences, who suffered the same shame, guilt and despair, and that they've managed to get beyond all that, turned their thinking around and begun to live, then just maybe I will begin to believe that I can do it too.

Further into our recovery, we may listen with a changed ear and be able to hear how we can apply the experiences of others in our own lives. In the beginning, though, we simply need the reassurance that we are not the only ones who behaved the way we did, that others have recovered successfully and are willing to share what they’ve learned, and that we are not alone.

That's why we're told to identify with the lives and feelings of others, and not compare. The details don't matter. The feelings, fears, and humanity that we share with our fellow addicts are the keys.

Experience. Strength. But, most of all, HOPE!

People, Places And Things

Many of the folks who attend the groups at Sunrise Detox wonder about “people, places and things,” and question how merely seeing someone, or being in a particular place, can trigger a powerful desire to drink or use other drugs.

Maybe the best way of understanding this is to consider a number of recent experiments that studied the brain activity of subjects while they were exposed to certain stimuli. Rats, rabbits, and non-human primates will seek the same drugs that we humans abuse, and will begin seeking them again — even after months of deprivation — when exposed to the drugs themselves or to visual cues that they have associated with drugs in the past. Along with these, brain-imaging studies on human addicts indicate that visual cues can cause the addict to recall the pleasure of drug* use, and can cause enhanced activity in areas of the brain that are associated with cravings.

This research shows scientifically what people in the rooms have known for a long time, often demonstrated in sayings like “If you don’t want to slip, stay out of slippery places.” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you want to stay sober you don’t go into a bar, order a drink, and sit and look at it. There’s a technical term for folks who test themselves that way: relapsers.

It shouldn’t take a lot more thought to see how less obvious things can have similar effects. Ordering a club soda and hanging with our drinking friends, seeing our dealer in a crowded club, passing the shop where we purchased our wine, even sitting in front of the TV with our buddies watching a game — all of these thing can trigger a desire to use, the “just one won't hurt” thought that has killed so many of us .

Stress

Consider that stress is one of the greatest causes of relapse, because it was one of our biggest excuses for using. Family arguments, the presence of people whom we believe disapprove of us, being around other people who are behaving the way we used to, animosity from people we harmed during our addictions — all of these things are powerful stressors, along with financial, legal and romantic complications. Some of these things are going to be parts of our early recovery, but it certainly makes sense not to complicate the problem with temptations and stressors that can be avoided. Of course these things are part of live, and of course we’ll have to deal with them eventually, but that doesn’t mean we should try when our brains are still in early recovery and the likelihood of relapse is at its greatest.

Thus, to the extent possible, we need to avoid the old people, places and things until we have enough sobriety under our belts to deal with the stress and temptation. Even then, smart addicts moderate periods of tension by attending extra meetings, calling people in the program, and generally stepping up their involvement in recovery.

Many sensible strategies, such as living in halfway houses, staying out of home areas, putting off jobs, relationships and other potential stressors can seem counter to the idea of recovery. After all, isn’t it about carrying on with life? That it is, but carrying on with life means doing so effectively, which means clean and sober, with some good recovery under our belts. Recovery is difficult enough without standing at the plate begging for curve balls. Trying to “make up for lost time” is an excellent way to lose even more of it, and perhaps our jobs, families, or even our lives along with it.

*When the writer uses the term “drug” he includes alcohol, which is simply a legal drug.

Sponsors In Recovery — More Questions

Our clients attend group sessions while in detox, and questions come up about sponsors in recovery. Since the subject seems to confuse some folks in the beginning, we like to mention it occasionally with a bit of an explanation. These were a couple of recent questions.

What is a sponsor?

Sponsors in recovery are people with experience in the particular program of recovery, who have completed the 12 steps, and who help newcomers understand and guide them through completion. Along with that, they make themselves available as supports outside of meetings. A sponsor should be of a gender preference that minimizes the possibility of outside entanglement, and the sponsee should remember that age is not a factor in these matters. That is, men sponsor men and women sponsor women, unless the parties are gay.

Most sponsors require that their sponsees call them every day, and want to meet with them on frequent occasions to discuss their program, things that may be on their mind, and help prepare them for the various steps. If they do not have time to do that — and there are many good reasons why that might be the case — then perhaps another choice would be wise.

A sponsor is not a moneylender, legal adviser  marriage counselor or therapist. Their purpose is to help the newcomer focus on the 12 Steps, and to help them come to an understanding of their program of recovery. These other things distract and change the focus of the relationship, and are generally considered detrimental. Furthermore, it is quite likely that they are not qualified in those areas anyway. Although most of us develop friendships with our sponsors, even that is not necessary.  What is required is experience on the part of the sponsor, and our ability to learn to trust them.

The person we choose does not have to like our kind of music, be a sports buff, or even close to our own age, but he or she must show through appearance, actions and words that they are not only working a solid program but are also living a healthy life. There is no such thing as a perfect sponsor, but the best bet is to check out the person at a few meetings or over a cup of coffee, and see that they are not just talking the talk, but walking the walk as well.

Finally, we need to remember that a sponsor’s purpose is to lead us through the steps. If that is not happening, or if they are taking us off on some tangent, we need to understand that we are not married to them, and that we are free to look for another sponsor. We do, however, need to be sure that the incompatibility is real, and not simply a matter of having heard something we did not want to hear. The nature of recovery is change, and a sponsor who is unwilling to dig a little is not doing the job right.

Is it okay to have a sponsor in AA and another in NA?

This is a matter of opinion, to a degree. Generally-speaking, when it comes to those two fellowships, we would suggest that it is best to settle on one or the other for our step work. Every sponsor learns sponsorship from their own sponsors, and styles of sponsorship thus vary quite a bit. Having two individuals risks confusion. For example, one may like to spend more time on a particular step than another, or put more weight on writing as opposed to talking. Neither of those is wrong, but they can conflict.

One of the best reasons for not having two sponsors, however, is the danger that we will play one against the other. In any endeavor, it is best to have only one leader at a time. We recommend that a newcomer choose one fellowship for in-depth work, and attend meetings of the other for identification with those issues as well.

The exceptions to the above occur in the case of specialized fellowships, such as Overeaters or Gamblers Anonymous, or sexual addiction groups. In those and some other cases, the primary purposes are so different (at least on the surface) that it is imperative to have a sponsor who can personally and comfortably address those issues.

Zoloft Put the Pleasure in My Sobriety

I've recently run across the old bugaboo in the rooms related to taking antidepressants. Because not taking them when needed can not only impact our ability to work a program but can also lead to serious debilitation and even suicide, I think this article is a must for everyone in recovery.

“Better living through chemistry” isn't just a slogan: I've been on antidepressants for 20 years, and can still remember exactly when the first one started to work—allowing my recovery to begin for real.
By Maia Szalavitz

Read more at The Fix

Ambien Not Just A Mild Sleeping Aid

A new report shows that the number of emergency department visits involving adverse reactions to the sleep medication zolpidem rose nearly 220 percent from 6,111 visits in 2005 to 19,487 visits in 2010….

…Zolpidem is an FDA-approved medication used for the short-term treatment of insomnia and is the active ingredient in drugs such as Ambien, Ambien CR, Edluar and Zolpimist.

Read More at Science Daily