“Sought Through Prayer And Meditation”

The Eleventh Step reads, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

Since I believe that one’s relationship (or not) with a higher power is private, and that in the context of the rooms of recovery it verges on being an outside issue, I won’t be getting into it here. However, there is no question that the meditation part is critical to healthy emotional growth for alcoholics and other addicts, and that it’s important for the population at large, as well. (See the preceding link) That being the case, and because meditation has gotten a bad rap from folks who think it’s tedious and difficult, I thought I’d hit some of the high points about how to meditate.

In a sense, meditation is planned boredom. We purposely put ourselves into a situation where we have no choice but to live with our thoughts. This was common a half-century ago and more, because life contained far fewer ways of filling up time with relatively unnecessary things. By that, I mean things that don’t increase our quality of life, but that simply fill up empty time that could more profitably be spent in — boredom.

Human beings need these periods. Our days are filled with things that take up our time, but that do nothing to uplift us. Those of us who have been able to slow our brains down and spend a couple of 20 minute periods a day in meditation have found that if we do so regularly, things just seem to get better. During those periods, we seem somehow to fit the irregular pieces of our lives together a bit more smoothly.

RoadHave you ever driven several miles, only to realize that you remembered nothing about the trip — not only the trip, but what you might have been thinking, the songs that played on the radio — nothing? Have you ever come to with a start, and realized that you had lost a few minutes? Have you ever been so deeply engrossed in reading a book, or listening to music, that you were oblivious to everything going on around you for several minutes — even hours? If you have had any of these experiences, you have been in a meditative state. Whether we call it hyper-focusing, daydreaming, or “lost in thought,” it’s all the same thing.  In our fast-moving world we have come to think of these periods as wasting time, when in fact they are probably the most important parts of our day in terms of emotional health and general wellbeing.

We are naturals at meditation, and since we already know how, the idea of doing so regularly may seem less of an ordeal. It really isn’t difficult, although it may require a bit of patience and acceptance to begin with.  We only have to learn to do on demand what we already know how to do unconsciously.

That is surprisingly simple. We simply remove other distractions. We find a quiet place, indoors or outdoors (outdoors is best). We desert our phones, iPods, books, lists and the other things that tyrannize our day — including the other people in our lives. We sit quietly.

Then we simply let our mind wander. If we find it focusing on problems, chores, ideas for new projects, our love life or other specifics, we acknowledge their presence and then let them drift away. We don’t dwell on them. If they come back, we say, “Okay, there it is again,” and we let it go.

After while, we will drift into what amounts to a daydream, where we are no longer conscious of trying, our minds wandering where they will. That is meditation. We are not working at thinking about specific things. Quite the opposite; we are giving our minds a chance to function a bit on their own, undirected, and able to exercise themselves without interference from us.

It takes a bit of practice to reach a point where we can do this more-or-less on command. Most folks find that about fifteen to twenty minutes a couple of times a day can work wonders, once we get the knack of it. Just remember that meditation is for its own sake. It has no specific purpose. If we start looking for one, we’re approaching it wrong.

Try it for a couple of weeks, then keep on if you find it rewarding. My guess is that you’ll be online buying meditation supplies (that you really don’t need) before you know it.

Eat, Smoke, Meditate: Why Your Brain Cares How You Cope

Our National Director of Admissions, Joe Horrocks, suggested this as a basis for an article.  After re-reading it several times I decided that I couldn’t present the subject any better then the author has done, so I decided to publish a link instead of reinventing the wheel.  This article explains the “why” of the exercise extremely well, and I’ll follow up tomorrow with some information about the “how.”

Most people do what they have to do to get through the day. Though this may sound dire, let’s face it, it’s the human condition. Given the number of people who are depressed or anxious, it’s not surprising that big pharma is doing as well as it is. But for millennia before we turned to government-approved drugs, humans devised clever ways of coping: Taking a walk, eating psychedelic mushrooms, breathing deeply, snorting things, praying, running, smoking, and meditating are just some of the inventive ways humans have found to deal with the unhappy rovings of their minds.

But which methods actually work?

Read more: http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2011/09/21/eat-smoke-meditate-why-your-brain-cares-how-you-cope/

Let’s Not Take Boston To Chicago

I know I speak for the entire Sunrise family when I extend our deepest concerns and sympathy to the victims, families and others whose lives have been devastated by yesterday’s awful tragedies at the Boston Marathon and nearby.  We have friends, colleagues and former clients in the Boston area, and some of us have family there as well.  Words can’t express our dismay at these events — one more example of folks’ inability to resolve differences without violence.

Ron P., one of my therapists when I was in treatment (you know, back when everyone was eating fermented fruit that they picked up on the way to the water hole), used to have a favorite way of putting things.  He’d ask a simple question, or be listening to someone going on at length in group, and then he’d say, “C’mon!  You’re taking it to Chicago!”  Then he’d bring us back to the point or, as often as not, make it for us.

I couldn’t help thinking of Ron while reading snippets here and there about the Boston bombings.  One theorist blames the US Government, who are allegedly trying to frame the opposite political party.  Still others are sure they know who and what ethnic groups were responsible, and so on.  Blah, blah, blah.

The bare fact is, no one knows who was responsible except for the people directly involved.  It is likely that the rest of us will know more soon, but it’s by no means certain, and it’s important that we keep our heads and not jump on our horse and ride off in all directions like the codependent cowboy.  It’s especially important that we keep these issues out of the rooms of recovery.

We all have our feelings, and many of us aren’t that good at keeping them to ourselves.  If we feel as though we need to talk about things, we need to remember the first rule of sharing in the rooms or elsewhere: keep in in “the I.”  We share about how these things are affecting us and our recovery.  We do not voice opinions on outside issues, in violation of our traditions, and we don’t take a chance of offending others in the meeting.  We are not there to ride a political (or religious) hobby horse, but to facilitate our recovery, and that of others.

Let’s keep our primary purpose in mind, when tempted to air the opinions that all us addicts have in abundance, shall we?  As a bonus, it may prevent us from having to eat crow later, when our pet theory may be shown to be incorrect.  Let’s not take Boston to Chicago.

 

A Reader Writes About Her PAWS Experience

I got this letter a few days ago. It so closely parallels the article on the Sunrise Detox blog about sugar addiction, and has such a clear outline of the lady’s experiences in early sobriety, that I thought it would be good to publish it here, along with my response. Perhaps some of you folks will be able to relate. The letter is edited for readability and to preserve anonymity, and is being published with the permission of the writer.

I had absolutely no acute withdrawal symptoms when I stopping drinking. In fact, quitting was so easy I never lasted more than 3 months before. I used to do these “stop drinking” bouts twice a year for the last 5 years to cleanse but admittedly, looking back it was because I had a problem with alcohol. It’s been over 100 days now. I quit on January 1st.

I’m 46 and I have been drinking since 17. I was a heavy drinker who was always sensitive to alcohol. I could handle booze until I was 40, when I started drinking a bottle of wine nightly. For me, who was small, that was way too much. No one thought I was having a problem because I was drinking alone, hiding at home.

I had no withdrawal but I seem to now have classic PAWS. [Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome - Ed.] Where I used to have mental acuity and a really fast mind, I’m now super confused and tired. My first month was complete rage. I was so bloody angry, where did it come from? I seemed to be intolerant and have no censure about telling people off. It’s almost comical.

In a sense it relieves me, I can finally not be polite. I used to be so polite and sweet and nice but chronically depressed as a drunk. I’m now angry, which in my book is better than depression. (Can you believe it, I was sure booze didn’t create depression because when I stopped for a month before, I was not less depressed. But now that I’ve accumulated over 4 months and am no longer depressed, I SEE that it was alcohol. I just so wish I had got that realisation sooner…so many years wasted!)

Thankfully, the rage has subsided. I deal with frequent headaches, but my most annoying PAWS symptom is sugar craving. I was on a NO CARBS diet for 8 weeks and it helped, but it was too austere to be a happy place (I’m all about extremes) so I’m back to a good diet, meditate daily, do yoga, I’m doing wonderfully except for the sugar cravings. When I feel like drinking like mad, I allow myself the sugar rush. I guzzle a spoonful of molasses or maple syrup, and you know what? It helps me greatly. My only question is, will it ever diminish? It’s a sugar craving exactly like when I have PMS — the exact same urge to have sugar with immediate brain POW relief. So since I don’t abuse sugar at all except a daily dose of dark chocolate (1 square) or a tablespoon of maple syrup, i think it can’t harm me that much. Better than alcohol.

I don’t mind that PAWS takes time. In a way it makes me grateful, it reminds me that I’m weaned from my poison. I’m just happy it’s not 1 year for 1 year of booze because I would be in pain for the next 25 years.

Thank you so much for your kind presence. I find that you are very present to us. In spirit, in listening.

“Ruth”

Hi Ruth,

Don’t worry about the sugar for now. Next time you go to your doc, request that she order an A1C test to evaluate the way your body is handling glucose. For the time being, stick with the method you’ve found. You might try smaller amounts of sugar or — perhaps better — some more complex carbs to see how that works. I’m concerned about blood sugar spikes and bottoms, especially in connection with the rage.

Ah, the rage. Hardly surprising that it has surfaced now that the booze is gone. Booze helps us stuff all manner of things, powerful feelings first among them. At some point you’ll be ready to take a good look at things in the past that are causing it, perhaps via a 4th and 5th Step, or with a good therapist. For now, don’t sweat it, but you will need to explore those issues eventually. (If that caused any kind of reaction besides, “Oh, okay,” it’s proof of the premise. Denial ain’t just a river in Africa.) If things get too tough, buy an aluminum baseball bat, find some poor undeserving surface, and whale away at it for a bit. Good upper body exercise, too.

How much we drank has less to do with PAWS than how long we drank and how our tolerance for alcohol developed. Along with tolerance came changes in our brain, as our bodies attempted to adapt to the altered levels of neurotransmitters (NT’s) caused by the stimulation of the alcohol and/or other drugs. These are permanent changes that involve receptor sites and other minutia. As a small woman, you got the full treatment. Because women produce less of the enzyme that metabolizes alcohol (ethanol dehydrogenase), it stays in your bodies longer, at higher levels than it does in men. Being small merely exaggerated that. More effects for the money is about the only benefit there.

Put simply, PAWS is the symptoms our body experiences during the period when the brain and other bodily systems are returning to an approximation of normal. They include all the things that you mentioned, some others that you didn’t, and sometimes depression. Not everyone expresses the same syndrome, but your list fits right in.

PAWS usually lasts for from 8-10 months to two years, depending on a broad range of variables. There is no way to avoid it, but following the suggestions in the article can ameliorate many of the effects, and just knowing that it will gradually get better is a morale booster, too. Expect some swings: good days and worse days, with the good slowly increasing. It’s frustrating for us addicts, because we’re used to mood changes on demand, but this is better.

Trust me.

Follow the hypoglycemic diet suggested, and stay away from fad and “cleansing” diets. They have no real validity, regardless of how artful the presentation. Remember that those folks are trying to sell things; there’s no profit in simple, good nutrition. Recovery is about reality, and there’s some for you right there.

Keep on keepin’ on!

Bill

Keep Celebrity Worship Out of AA (And the other groups)

I have been sighted coming and going from thousands of AA meetings. The difference…is that nobody knows who I am and nobody cares. This has been very much to my advantage.

I”ve written about this before, and will again.  No one is more aware of this problem than people who work in treatment centers — except, of course, for the victims of the publicity themselves.  We see well-known faces come and go quite often. When we see them again, we have to wonder how much of their relapse was due to being hounded by people who can’t mind their own business. Personally, I wonder just how much effect the lack of consideration from other recovering people might have. Do we give celebreties the same shot at sobriety in the rooms as we would anyone else, and how do we think we’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

A good article that should make us all think.

Read more: Keep Celebrity Worship Out of AA

Sobriety Got Me Though One Heck Of A Week

Occasionally in life we have periods that just plain suck. As a sponsor of mine was fond of saying, “When I got sober, life didn’t get better right away, but it got real clear!” The difference is, in sobriety we’re able to feel our pain, work our way through it, and come out the other side in a healthy way, instead of stuffing all those feelings and having to deal with them later when they start squishing through the cracks in our mental armor.

One of my oldest friends passed away last Friday. I’ve known Ed since I was about 10 years old. He was one of the first kids I met when I moved to a new town, and his friendship made a huge difference in my adjustment to an environment that I was in no way prepared to deal with. Over the next six or so years we weren’t inseparable, by any means, but most of the time each knew where the other was and pretty much what he was doing.

Ed and I studied, worried about the things teenage boys do, hung out, camped and hunted, and did all the usual high school stuff — most of it together. We even had a singing act that we were known to inflict on folks occasionally. (Neither of us ended up in show biz.) Along with a couple of other guys, we almost literally dragged each other out of the confusion of adolescence into whatever state you’re in when you graduate from high school. My girlfriend and I set him up on a double-date with Judy, the girl he was eventually married to for nearly 50 years. Ed and I were tight.

After high school and college we had only occasional contact for the next thirty years or so. I, of course, became a drunk — some other things, true, but still a drunk and addict. About to get drafted into the Army after college, Ed joined the Air Force instead. In typical all-or-nothing fashion, he went on to become a highly-decorated officer. As head of the White House communications unit, he accompanied Presidents Ford and Carter everywhere they went. As a lieutenant colonel, he headed the communications team that travels with Delta Force. As a full colonel he was boss of an outfit so secret I don’t even know what it was. Then, although he was being groomed for general, he retired. He told me he did so because he decided his family needed some stability after being dragged all over the world. So he put down the sword and took up the plow as a teacher, dean, contributor to the community we grew up in, and as a man of god.

To say that I “miss” Ed would devalue our relationship, which was the kind where you just take up the conversation you didn’t finish the last time you were together — however many years ago that may have been. I didn’t have to be around him during those years. I just knew that he was wherever, and I was wherever, that our friendship stretched between, and I had faith that it might stretch but that it would never break.

If I’d still been drinking and drugging I would have missed the last years of that friendship, of getting to know Ed as “elder statesman.” I would have missed the bittersweet pleasure of meeting his grown kids and grandkids this week. I would have missed the grace and poise of the Colonel’s Lady, putting guests and old friends at ease while her heart was breaking. I would have missed my own grief, and my appreciation for the man Ed was and for what he gave to his country, his god, the thousands of other friends he accumulated over his nearly 69 years — and to me.

Ed’s life reminded me, once again, that it ain’t over until it’s over. If I’d ended mine with booze and drugs all those years ago, there’s so much I would have missed, a lot more than just Ed. I would have accomplished virtually none of the things that I consider important in my own life. I wouldn’t be writing this, and I think the message is pretty important:

Sobriety is worth a little pain now and then.

So are you.

Vitamins In Recovery — A Personal Opinion

2013-03-19 16.44.57It isn’t uncommon for me to get questions about nutrition, particularly the role of vitamins in recovery. Let me say at the outset that I have no desire to get into a debate about it. There are huge industries with a vested interest in promoting vitamin therapies, and they use extremely effective advertising to attract people to their products. Many of those folks swear by their various courses of nutritional supplements, and that’s okay. I’m not going to buck the current of billions of dollars worth of merchandising, nor am I interested in changing anyone’s mind.

In most respects, however, I disagree with the concept of vitamin therapy.  In fact, I hold a pretty conservative viewpoint on vitamins, in recovery and otherwise. We evolved to get them in certain quantities, and it’s difficult for me to imagine how messing with basic body chemistry is beneficial.  Most experts who are not connected with the vitamin industry agree that there is no point in supplementing heavily unless blood tests have indicated an insufficiency of a particular vitamin, such as vitamin D.

Of course, those who do have an ax to grind, either because of ties to the industry or their own endeavors (books, websites, health food stores, etc.) take an entirely different view. The information here is based on good medical advice, and that’s all I have to say about it.  Most nutritionists agree that we require vitamins and minerals only in tiny quantities, and that what isn’t absorbed literally goes down the drain. I once read a nutritionist’s summation: “Americans have the most expensive urine in the world.”

As addicts, we love the idea of some magical pill that will make us “all better,” but it doesn’t exist. The repairs necessary to recover from addiction will take place with abstinence, a good diet, exercise, rest, and — important to a remarkable degree — fun and relaxation. And it takes time; physical recovery from addiction, including alcoholism, can take up to two years. We feel better long before that, thank goodness, but it can take that long for our brains and the rest of our bodies to get back to something like normal.

However, we addicts are used to getting results fast. It’s no accident that the drugs that are most rapidly addictive are the ones that work the fastest. We think in the short term, and we don’t like to wait — for anything. Good nutrition, exercise and so forth take attention and work, and there’s no instant payoff. That’s our biggest hangup in recovery: wanting the magic pill.

That said, all alcoholics (and most other addicts) suffer from malnutrition to one degree or another. Alcohol prevents the small intestine from absorbing nutrients properly, and interferes with the intestinal bacteria that produce many of the nutrients we need. As a general rule, I believe that absent a doctor’s recommendation most of us do fine with a multivitamin every day with a meal (I take mine with breakfast). Because I have also been diagnosed with a vitamin D deficiency, I take supplements of that as well along with certain mineral supplements prescribed by my physician.

In the case of early recovery, no harm — and much good — can come from taking a high-quality multivitamin in the morning and one in the evening — always with a meal. Vitamins are food, not medicine, and must be digested with other food in order to be properly absorbed.

My personal opinion is that after the first year or so in recovery, people who eat properly and get a bit of sunshine and some exercise along with proper medical care probably don’t require more than a multi a day, and perhaps a mineral supplement if the multivitamin doesn’t provide them.  This obviously doesn’t apply to folks who have been told to take certain supplements by a physician.

Of course your mileage may vary.  If it works for you, great! Whether it’s vitamins or the placebo effect, the whole point of recovery is to feel better and get on with our lives.