There are a number of reasons why AA or the other 12-Step programs might not work for individuals. They range from a lack of commitment to sobriety to unwillingness to be a part of what they see (wrongly) as being a religious organization. In other cases, people’s issues may be such that they simply lack the ability to stay abstinent for long enough to do the work required. And, of course, some people expect a free ride: never getting a sponsor, working the steps, and not doing the things that others have found effective. That is often because they feel that they are different, and thus do not need to “Thoroughly follow our path.” Doing so can be pretty scary, and it is easier to run than to face our fears.
As far as “tedious” goes, that is certainly in the mind of the individual. It is true that some meetings rub some people the wrong way. Solution: find another meeting. It is also true that meetings tend to discuss the same things repeatedly. That is because they are intended to address the issues of the members, and those are the issues. While, as an “old-timer,” I might find some meetings lacking in variety, I have to remember that the meeting is not about me. It is about all 5, 15, 30 or more people in attendance. Becoming active in our group and beginning to help others can be useful in overcoming boredom.
I badly needed to hear the bsics myself, over and over, when I was a newcomer. Hearing something once, or reading it once in a book, is not sufficient to help us change our outlook and behavior when we have been thinking like addicts and alcoholics for years. If that were the case, all it would take is reading an article in a medical journal to sober us up. Sometimes basic ideas don’t even make sense until the 10th hearing — or the 50th. We need to listen with an open mind, and not assume that we are superior to the others in the room. Thoughts like that virtually guarantee that we are wrong.
That said, the Steps are not for everyone. The 12-step programs are extremely effective for people who are determined and willing to “go to any lengths.” There is no reason, however, to assume that other programs would not work as well for people who are dedicated to remaining abstinent and relearning the skills and attitudes of normal living. For those who prefer half measures, probably no program will work. Remaining abstinent is the beginning, not the end of sobriety. It is entirely possible to remain abstinent for years without changing our thinking enough to be truly happy ourselves, or to contribute to the happiness of others.
While this writer continues to believe that the 12-step process produces the best results for the greatest number, there are a number of other programs that could be effective. They include
and a variety of others.
This is not meant to imply that these programs are the best, or that they are superior to any others. Neither should it be considered a recommendation for them, as opposed to the twelve steps. Our staff here at Sunrise includes literally hundreds of years of sobriety. It is our experience that AA, NA and similar groups produce the best results for the greatest number. Nonetheless, support is critical for successful recovery, and we hope that everyone will find a path that is right for them.
Note: If you are one of the individuals who find fault with these honest attempts to help others, don’t bother to comment. This is a private website, and while we welcome useful comments, we are under no obligation to publish yours. If the editor believes your remarks detrimental to the overall purpose of this site, he will ignore them, along with your protestations. He has a thick skin.
What I have never understood about opponents of 12 step programs is how they can have so much hate for them. I have been on a site with people that have been involved in 12 step programs for almost 40 years, and then decide it doesn’t work. It’s been astonishing to me to have them claim that they were lied to or manipulated into coming when all of those programs have the steps on the walls and are completely voluntary unless mandated by a Court. AA doesn’t claim to work for everyone nor does it claim to be the only path to sobriety, yet when you point this out to the naysayers, they balk and argue. They surely cannot show you in the literature where it says that AA IS the only thing. What I heard out of people in our meetings was that despite trying everything, AA was the only thing that worked for them or was the most helpful.
Since AA worked for me, I didn’t consider any of the options. But it wouldn’t have mattered. The options listed in the article were not available in my area, and while the detractors are quick to point out these very programs, none of them are willing to become facilitators so that these options could be more widespread.
I am one of the people who could not get sober using the 12 steps,there are many like me,A/A doesn’t seem to recognise that we are all different and the one size fits all approach does not work, yes there are types of people who thrive in a/a and i say good luck to them,but please recognise the majority like myself who have quit drinking using their own resources, the god i believe in gives me freedom to choose, i choose not to drink alcohol.
Kind regards,joe.
I use HAMS harm reduction, not for everyone but it works for me.
soberdad 16 years of abstinence
PS. A detox can be a good start. Alcohol damages a persons ability to make decisions on their own behalf.
A detox can be a good start because it helps distance you from the last drink or use!
Better is better is my slogan, I use whatever I need to help me recover from and eliminate damage.
Why don’t you post ANY! comments?
Dear Donald,
I post comments that are pertinent, substantive and not abusive. If you are referring to specific unposted commentary by yourself or someone else, the reason would have been their failure to meet those criteria. Please take note that I posted this one without hesitation.
Bill
Hi Joe,
Congratulations on your success. I have never claimed, nor will I ever claim, that AA or the other 12-step programs are right for everyone. In fact, my follow-up article yesterday specifically remarked on that, and mentioned alternatives.
That said, I continue to believe that the 12-step approach is the most effective for the most people, and that is why I suggest and write about it. If people try it and find that it doesn’t suit, I wish them all the success in the world with the alternatives.
I would point out, however, that many of the problems people perceive in AA, NA and the others are related to specific groups or individuals, rather than the fellowships as a whole. Just as I would never suggest that someone should remain in a program that really doesn’t fit, I believe I would be doing my readers a disservice by not encouraging them to try the most successful approach (in my experience and opinion), and not to attend only one group, but several. I believe many of the objections could be resolved by considering the wide variety of groups available.
Thanks for your comments and ideas,
Bill
I am involved with the veterans community. i have been asked to start a peer to peer group,because so many vet’s are not comfortable with AA/NA, AA- don’t talk about drugs!! NA/ if your on med’s your not sober!!!!. Another reason is ” If these people knew what I’ve done”.The relapse rate with Vets is High to say the least and many have a dual diagnosis generally PTSD but more often then not other mental diagnosis on top of the PTSD.The group is an experiment to see how effective having a group where it is more of a “mentoring” group then a therapeutic group and not as structured as AA/NA. the hope is that if is seen as effective we can expand the program into other VA’S
I can see where vets would have difficulty dealing with many of their issues in a group of civilians. I suggest, however, that you not deviate any farther than necessary from the formats of the 12-step groups. There have been many efforts to re-invent the wheel, but few have proven as effective. The progression of the steps is there for a good reason; it’s the order in which they seem to work best. Keeping the basic ideas in an overall protocol shouldn’t be difficult, without necessarily referring to them as such.
Just a thought. In any case, best of luck!