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I’ve been doing some research into non-12 Step recovery strategies for an article I’m writing. In the process, I’ve run across several sites that seem to be devoted to trashing one or another program.
It seems to me that this is not a good thing. Without getting into the pros and cons of specific recovery paths, I believe it is reasonable to assume that they are working for someone, or else they would not survive. Therefore, with the possible exception of true cults, they are most likely doing some good for some people.
This is how I see it: given the variety of possible ways that recovery, the recovery process, and even what constitutes recovery can be perceived, what right does anyone have to trash a program and reduce the faith of the people it is helping?
What arrogance! How immoral!
I’ve been around recovery for a number of years. I understand the program now. I understand certain things about how it works, and I understand why those for whom it has worked are concerned (not to say superstitious) about making changes. I don’t necessarily agree with some of their points of view, but I understand them.
That was not always the case. Early on, I could have been discouraged. If I had been exposed to people who, for one reason or another, believed the 12 Step programs are cults, or religious organizations, or artifacts of the devil, or whatever the fashionable objection might have been in 1989, I might have been discouraged from attending those meetings. A different program might not have worked as well for me, although it might easily have been perfectly suited to the next guy.
I take little credit for the years I have been clean and sober. I know that the 12 Step programs are the reason I was able to make it this far. I don’t know if another path would have worked for me. In that case, I would be dead now. Bottom line.
So if AA did not work for me, or NA, or Rational Recovery, or the Buddhist Recovery Network or whatever, that does not give me the right to destroy someone else’s faith in their program. To even imagine that a person would be so crass as to do so intentionally is to examine one of the prime characteristics of un-recovered people: the conviction that black is black, white is white, and that they know the way things ought to be.
I suggest that they might want to call their sponsors, and have a cup of coffee and a long talk.
My take is this: It was the 12 step folks that pushed on me that I had to practice the steps and get a sponsor–no other way would do. When I suggested I get an Episcopal priest as a mentor (buy the way, the type that started the Oxford Group) I was told no, and I was in error and doomed for relapse. This so happened to be a Salvation Army councilor who was a Jew. Can you imagine that? A Jew overseeing a Christian rehab program. What hypocrites. The bottom line here is this: There are 12 step councilors who are just as critical on their end, and it goes a lot further than the S.A. to..
Hi, Sonny Boy,
There are people in the 12-step groups who are unskillful, just as there are in other walks of life. We need to be careful not to tar them all with the same brush. The opinions of members are just that — opinions. They are not the policy of AA, NA, or any other legitimate group. I know priests who sponsor people, are spiritual mentors, and who specialize in hearing 5th Steps. I’d have to say that anyone who expressed an opinion on an outside issue like that was in violation of the traditions, and I believe that would be the position of most people who understand them.
We need to remember that people in the rooms of any recovery group, 12-step or not, are not there because they are healthy. If their advice seems unskillful, it is best to check with someone who has long-term experience in sobriety (and who has no other axes to grind, as would seem to have been the case with your Salvation Army person).
The point of my article, perhaps expressed less clearly that it should have been, is that we all need to be respectful of other people’s programs, as long as they seem to be causing no harm. And we need to be alert for signs of intolerance on our own part.
Keep on keepin’ on,
Bill
Don’t drink, do as you please?
Soberman
Last drink
02/22/1970
If that works for you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t for the vast majority of alcoholics and other addicts.
Hi, i can’t believe the arrogant attitude you have, reminds me of the a/a meetings i went to, yes a/a is suitable for certain types of people, but equally there are people who do not like the hypocrisy and dogma of a/a,i’m sober for many years now without a/a.
A/A was a hindrance to me, i never had a problem with the God bit, i just can’t believe that God would want us to go through life in a cult which tries to take away our full responsibility for our choices good or bad
You are certainly entitled to your opinion.
Bill,
When referring to individuals who criticize AA (or bash; as you put it). You said: ” What arrogance! How immoral!”
Well, I personally witnessed plenty of arrogance and immorality in Alcoholics Anonymous. Why be so concerned and resentful about others expressing their negative experiences while in the program. You may want to think about excepting that which you can not change. I would think that the only individuals reading the sites you are referring to: would be those who are questioning the methods of recovery in AA. If they want what you have, I dont think the opposing view will influence them.
Dear Sue,
Thanks for reading and commenting. I do wish you had read a little bit more carefully, however.
The title reads, “AA Bashers (and others) Take Note”. The remark that you quoted refers specifically to the preceding paragraphs:
Careful reading will reveal that the reference is to all bashers of all programs. The paragraphs that follow are equally neutral, except that I use an example from my own recovery (which happened to be in a 12-step program) as to how I could have been discouraged. The final paragraph but one specifically states the general premise that no one has the right to criticize anyone else’s program. (In some of the 12-step rooms, that’s called taking their inventory.)
As I wrote in the follow-up article, no program is right for everyone.
Respectfully,
Bill
Bill,
I fully understood your original article. My comment was in response to your accusation of AA Bashers. I stand by my previous comment.
The comment referred to all bashers of all programs.